"If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (1John4:15-18)
Came across this scripture today in another blog that I read and it stuck out to me. Fear is a very big struggle of mine. Has been for a very long time. I have lived most of my life living in fear. Fear of bad things happening. Fear of losing people. Fear of what others think. Fear of being abandoned, left. If you were to look at me, you wouldn't know it. I hide it well. Only a few can tell. Sometimes the fear is so crippling that I am unable to do anything. I will talk myself out of things. (Self esteem and self worth are two other big struggles) I run from things. I fear for the safety of my family when they are not with me. I could go on and on. Needless to say that it's a giant, daily struggle for me. I often feel like a horrible christian because of the fear. It's one of the things that I want to conquer in my life this year. I need to remember that it's perfect love that casts out all fear. And that perfect love is God's. Not mine, my husband's or anyone elses. They all pale in comparisson and fail miserably. Only God's love is perfect and therefore good enough to cast out all fear. I need to lay that fear down at the foot of the cross where it belongs. To lay it at the feet of Jesus and rest in His perfect love. For a healthier me and so I don't pass the behaviour on to my children. So needless to say this scripture is one that I will be memorizing and keeping close by.
Monday, 16 January 2012
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Forgot to put this in......
Just realized I wanted to put this up. Saw this video the other day and had major goosebumps. I love this worship song (How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin) but then I heard this version and about flipped. The thought that kept going through my head? Is this what it's going to sound like in heaven? All of us singing the same song but in our own language. Gives me chills!!!!!!
Long Time No Blog
Well, it's been a long while. Many things have happened over the years. We've added a little girl to the family so now I am a mom of three. Logan is in full day school in grade one and Casey is now in junior kindergarten. Time has flown so fast. I am still co-pastoring Infuzion with Jason. Still working on the photography (hoping that it will all fall together and become a career at some point)and have now picked up guitar. (Much to my fingers chagrin, lol) I also now have my G1 so I am on my way to driving by myself finally!
I have my struggles still. Somedays I feel like I am going around the same mountain that I have been around for years and other days I feel like I have finally put it in my rearview mirror. But regardless I try to trudge on and hope to finally see myself as God sees me.
This past year, just before Christmas, we lost Jason's grandmother. She had alzheimers so it has felt like we were losing her a little at a time. It was hard explaining to Logan why Momsie didn't remember who he was. (It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember the look on his face when he realized she didn't know who he was) It was even harder to explain to him that Momsie had died. He asked some pretty interesting questions and still brings it up now. Casey on the other hand asked if Momsie disappeared like in Star Wars (lol Daddy's boy or what?) but has also asked why Momsie can't come back from heaven. Oh the joys of life. Easy to understand why death feels so unnatural!
I am going to try and blog more this year. I have some goals this year of things I want to accomplish, things I want to do, and places in my walk I want to be. It outta be an interesting journey!
I have my struggles still. Somedays I feel like I am going around the same mountain that I have been around for years and other days I feel like I have finally put it in my rearview mirror. But regardless I try to trudge on and hope to finally see myself as God sees me.
This past year, just before Christmas, we lost Jason's grandmother. She had alzheimers so it has felt like we were losing her a little at a time. It was hard explaining to Logan why Momsie didn't remember who he was. (It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember the look on his face when he realized she didn't know who he was) It was even harder to explain to him that Momsie had died. He asked some pretty interesting questions and still brings it up now. Casey on the other hand asked if Momsie disappeared like in Star Wars (lol Daddy's boy or what?) but has also asked why Momsie can't come back from heaven. Oh the joys of life. Easy to understand why death feels so unnatural!
I am going to try and blog more this year. I have some goals this year of things I want to accomplish, things I want to do, and places in my walk I want to be. It outta be an interesting journey!
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Wow
Jay came home last friday from the first Power Generation Canda Day outreach practice and said that there is a new drama being done to this song "A Note To God" by Charice. So he uploaded the video on youtube and all I have to say is wow. The song is amazing and her voice is powerful. I am so excited to see everything that this new drama entails. Last years new addition "Color Theft" by Oh, Sleeper was my favorite; but I have a feeling that it will be replaced this year.
Check out the video of the song from Oprah below:
Check out the video of the song from Oprah below:
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
Beautiful Song
About a month ago I finally got around to getting the Steven Curtis Chapman CD that I had wanted for quite some time. Whenever I get a new CD, I'm the type of person who pulls out the liner notes and reads ever word written, from the lyrics to the thank yous. (I know I'm weird!) Well, I get to this one song called "One little heartbeat at a time" and I find myself bawling my eyes out before I've even reached the words of the chorus. The song is about being a mother and how all the things that we do as mom's seem to be unnoticed and rushed, but that everything we do changes the world one little heartbeat at a time. I know being a mom of two boys, that sometimes I wonder if anything I do matters. It seems that my days are just filled with wiping noses, bums and tears. Changing diapers, refereeing fights, making food, picking up toys. Doing piles of dishes and laundry. Endless episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Sesame Street & Handy Manny. Then there's the whining and the temper tantrums. (one which is going on right now as I type!) But then there are also some of the best parts... the hugs, the kisses, the cuddles, the "mommy I love you". I have always known I have wanted to be a mom. Looking back now, I know that I had no clue what it meant, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. And to my own mom... Thank you for all that you did for me. For all the little things and the big things. Happy Mother's Day!
"One Little Heartbeat At A Time"
You’re up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
like the beautiful woman you are
So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
and you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Well maybe you just don’t know
or maybe you’ve forgotten
That you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
With every, “I know you can do it”
and every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
they’re just like the drops of rain
over time, they become a river
And you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
You’re beautiful, so beautiful
how you’re changing the world, yeah you’re changing the world
You, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
I believe that you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
"One Little Heartbeat At A Time"
You’re up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
like the beautiful woman you are
So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
and you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Well maybe you just don’t know
or maybe you’ve forgotten
That you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
With every, “I know you can do it”
and every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
they’re just like the drops of rain
over time, they become a river
And you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
You’re beautiful, so beautiful
how you’re changing the world, yeah you’re changing the world
You, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh you, you may not see it now
but I believe that time will tell
how you, you are changing the world
I believe that you, you are changing the world
one little heartbeat at a time
Tuesday, 6 January 2009
OC Transpo Strike
Well, it's day 28 in the OC Transpo strike here in Ottawa and I'm gonna put in my two cents. I am one of the lucky ones who don't really need OC Transpo. I don't have my drivers licences so it's more of a convenience than a necessity, but that being said I like it when it's around. That way if I want to go farther than South Keys I can. I can usually just wait until my husband gets home and then we take the car to where we need to go. Jason has managed to find a fellow co-worker who has a parking pass so he can get a lift in every day. The minor inconvenience is that he has had to stop working compressed and switch to her hours. Again all minor annoyances but livable. But there are others I know who rely on this service and have been greatly hampered by it's lose. For example, my youngest sister is a University of Ottawa student and the strike came during her exam time. For the first bit there was no shuttle in the west end so my mother who works was having to drive my sister during her lunch to school so she could go to her exams. Eventually the U of O added shuttle service to the west end, so my mom was driving her to the shuttle point and picking her up. I have just read on CFRA that U of O will be removing shuttle service after this Friday because it must respect the OC Transpo drivers. Frankly I find this idea stupid. I am sure that my sister is not the only one who has no other way to get to school except for this shuttle service. My sister and other students like her pay quite a bit of money to go to school and now have to figure out a way to get there. But does anyone really care about them? The university already has their money so why should they care? I blame U of O for making a very poor decision!
In my work experiences I have been a part of negotiating to bring a union in and also have been part of a union where our contract was up and people wanted to strike. (Not that it would have been able to do anything considering my union was only 63 people scattered between four buildings and we gave up the right to strike in the previous contract negotiations!) So I have seen both benefits and draw backs to the whole process. I have seen the good side where it was going to prevent management from abusing employees, but also the bad side where union was in my opinion way to powerful and pigheaded! I was part of the whole PSAC strike back a few years ago where my union was not striking but I was denied access to my work for hours on end because strikers were trying to get their point across to management. The mob mentality ruled significantly there. Grown adults calling people names, video taping people, threatening them, cat-calling one women who chose to cross because she was a single mother of three young children and it was strike and not put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies or cross and be ridiculed. I watched members grab a stroller of a woman who was returning from maternity leave but was not in uniform (I worked at DND) to prevent her from going in. Yes you read that right GRABBED THE STROLLER WITH THE BABY INSIDE!! Grown adults under mob mentality.
In my personal opinion I think that both sides should be sent to binding arbitration and the drivers & mechanics legislated back to work. I feel that this strike was called too fast. Where was the working to rule? The members gave the union a strike mandate, fine, that didn't mean that it had to be accelerated to a strike right away. There is avenues of working to rule. No OT and no uniforms. I think that this whole thing amounts to Amalgamated Transit Union President André Cornellier hate-on for Mayor Larry O'Brien. And it is the drivers and the public who are and will suffer for it. Mr. Cornellier has come off in the media as a smug, arrogant man with an extreme dislike for Larry O'Brien. If this vote on Thursday is no (which I think it will be, unfortunatley, because of what I believe to be a lack of thought when it comes to oneself and again mob mentality. Just watch the news clips people were saying no on the way in did they really give it a fair chance and listen or did they bring their preconceived notions in?) the city should just take all offers of the table and sit and wait. And the federal governement should step in and legislate them all back to work. I truly feel sorry for the bus drivers when they do go back to work because they will be the brunt of alot of anger and hostility. I expect that there may even be some physical violence towards them. That is wrong no matter how one feels. I know that there are two sides to every story so I can imagine that there are some things that management is wanting or doing that isn't right either. But the issue I have here is that again, Mr. Cornellier brought the members to this place of a strike without any other action first. And he will not receive the backlash that the bus drivers will. There is no winners in any of this, no matter what anyone thinks. The public will be angry, ridership will go down, members will be angry at others for not siding with them or speaking out. In the end I can only hope that calmer voices will prevail. This is the capital city of Canada and we all deserve better.
In my work experiences I have been a part of negotiating to bring a union in and also have been part of a union where our contract was up and people wanted to strike. (Not that it would have been able to do anything considering my union was only 63 people scattered between four buildings and we gave up the right to strike in the previous contract negotiations!) So I have seen both benefits and draw backs to the whole process. I have seen the good side where it was going to prevent management from abusing employees, but also the bad side where union was in my opinion way to powerful and pigheaded! I was part of the whole PSAC strike back a few years ago where my union was not striking but I was denied access to my work for hours on end because strikers were trying to get their point across to management. The mob mentality ruled significantly there. Grown adults calling people names, video taping people, threatening them, cat-calling one women who chose to cross because she was a single mother of three young children and it was strike and not put a roof over their heads and food in their bellies or cross and be ridiculed. I watched members grab a stroller of a woman who was returning from maternity leave but was not in uniform (I worked at DND) to prevent her from going in. Yes you read that right GRABBED THE STROLLER WITH THE BABY INSIDE!! Grown adults under mob mentality.
In my personal opinion I think that both sides should be sent to binding arbitration and the drivers & mechanics legislated back to work. I feel that this strike was called too fast. Where was the working to rule? The members gave the union a strike mandate, fine, that didn't mean that it had to be accelerated to a strike right away. There is avenues of working to rule. No OT and no uniforms. I think that this whole thing amounts to Amalgamated Transit Union President André Cornellier hate-on for Mayor Larry O'Brien. And it is the drivers and the public who are and will suffer for it. Mr. Cornellier has come off in the media as a smug, arrogant man with an extreme dislike for Larry O'Brien. If this vote on Thursday is no (which I think it will be, unfortunatley, because of what I believe to be a lack of thought when it comes to oneself and again mob mentality. Just watch the news clips people were saying no on the way in did they really give it a fair chance and listen or did they bring their preconceived notions in?) the city should just take all offers of the table and sit and wait. And the federal governement should step in and legislate them all back to work. I truly feel sorry for the bus drivers when they do go back to work because they will be the brunt of alot of anger and hostility. I expect that there may even be some physical violence towards them. That is wrong no matter how one feels. I know that there are two sides to every story so I can imagine that there are some things that management is wanting or doing that isn't right either. But the issue I have here is that again, Mr. Cornellier brought the members to this place of a strike without any other action first. And he will not receive the backlash that the bus drivers will. There is no winners in any of this, no matter what anyone thinks. The public will be angry, ridership will go down, members will be angry at others for not siding with them or speaking out. In the end I can only hope that calmer voices will prevail. This is the capital city of Canada and we all deserve better.
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
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